(this blog’s gone to the dogs)
1) Who’s the king of the hoppers? The kiss-my-grasshopper.
2) Why are sea mammals so depressed? They have no porpoise (sorry Khyan).
3) Why don’t I try to make friends with hedgehogs? In case I rub them the wrong way.
4) What do you call a long-necked animal that wakes you up in the morning? A llama.
5) Why do caves encourage violence? They’re full of bats.
6) I just got a pet mole; you probably haven’t heard of it, it’s pretty underground.
7) What kind of hood comes out at night? A c-owl.
8) You know what they say about jokes about Winnie The Pooh’s name: they’re unbearable.
9) Those mice don’t belong to me, they must be your-ce.
10) What did one seabird say to another as a ball was thrown at them? Duck!
11) What do you call an insect that has sex with strangers in car parks? A doggerpillar.
12) What do pandas say when they’re confused? ‘I’m bamboozled’.
13) You’ve got to hand it to dung beetles, they’ve got the balls for anything.
14) What do you call a group of racially insensitive ducks? The Ku Kwacks Klan.
15) These jokes suck? For fox sake.