Pockets Are Wonderful

(and that’s an objectively true fact)

Dress-wearing fools, you are missing the Hell out, for pockets are brilliant and may well be the most useful invention since the installation of free WiFi on the tube during the Olympics a few years back.

Firstly, they store things without forcing you to carry additional things to store stuff in; whereas the usage of bags forces you to encumber your back or side, either through sheer weight or size, which can be particularly disabling on public transport, pockets let you hold stuff and keep your individual flexibility and mobility. They are also cheap in this way, as they are not an additional bit of kit to hold things, but are simply an extension of your existing belongings (i.e. your trousers).

Doubters will argue that you can’t hold much in pockets, but I’d respond by saying that you have too much stuff: I can fit a phone, iPod touch, wallet and keys into my trouser pockets, and I need absolutely nothing else when I go out. Pockets can also be used in tandem with other pockets, generating vast amounts of collective holding space: for school, those four above belongings are stored in my trousers, and my jacket pockets hold my pens, glasses and USB.

Pockets are also incredibly versatile, as I can use larger pockets for wallets, and smaller ones for keys. There are even the ultimate in necessary convenience, the zippy pocket, which provides the same level of security that a closed bag offers, with none of the additional expense or cumbersome-ness.

They are also associated with the greatest kind of trouser in the world: the humble Lonsdale Tracksuit; such bottoms are waterproof and durable, meaning that in my mind, there is a subconscious link between pockets and mobility, dryness and comfort.

The beauty of pockets is also clear in that they can be found in any time of trouser, and most kinds of jackets: they, unlike me, do not discriminate based on type of clothing, and can be found helping anyone, regardless of personal fashion choice, make their lives that much more convenient. Perhaps this is why I love pockets so much, that they go about their business humbly and quietly, helping us hold things without the need for a bag, and never drawing attention to themselves; I’ve never heard a ‘Hey, those are some nice pockets!’, as the pockets themselves know not to undermine the image of the more vain trousers to which they are attached.

Be it due to ethics or practicality, I am proud to say, and try to convince you that, pockets are wonderful.

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