I’m Brain-Dead

(if I had a brain I’d be dangerous…)

Today, I am unable to put into practice any of the plethora of ideas I had for a post (jk I had ‘Winnie the Pooh characters’ scrawled on a post-it note as a pathetic in-joke to a friend who probably wouldn’t appreciate it), partly because I have just spent the last hour and a half reading and passing judgement on another friend’s 4,000-word coursework essay.

This ‘judgement’ is not complete, coherent, or perhaps even helpful, but I enjoyed it; I liked reading other people’s ideas and seeing how they constructed arguments, and the fact that it was a friend made the lessons I could learn and the knowledge I could take all the more relevant – I’d read exemplar essays from previous students as part of my revision before, but they were always distant and abstract, belonging to ‘that’ class of students that had gone before me, and all seemed to be seven feet tall and able to write degree-level essays at sixteen (in reality they just knew how to spell ‘enjambment’).

The resulting headache and finger-exhaustion initially inspired me to write about being mentally tired, and the resulting relaxation of conventional mental and logical boundaries that often leaves us at our most creative – a good half of all my post ideas come to me while I’m running – but I am too tired for even that. I could probably write something along those lines if I tried, but I am tired to the point of being in the unusual position of being daunted by the scale or complexity of a task ahead, a relatively strange idea for me, considering my usual approach of ‘that thing is there to be done, so let’s do it.’

I was also going to try to write coherently about trying to write while brain-dead, but that fell flat on its face when my mind started slipping and I started Googling pictures of cats that look like Hitler. I guess I’m too tired for Inception-style post-ception topics.

The ease with which my mind can collapse is also concerning; I fully intend to continue writing daily throughout this summer’s exams, but if I am too tired for coherency after ninety minutes of work, how the Hell am I supposed to write anything more meaningful than ‘wehgworgneo[rh’ggjw]jhgribn’ when I’ve gone through a two-hour exam, and am currently in the midst of a four-hour revision session for the next day’s assessment? Obviously, I’ve worked for that amount of time before, but I’ve never done so with the daily obligation to produce a piece of prose every day for immediate reading and response on the Internet burning in the back of my mind.

But I’ll try to keep producing these pieces of prose, even if I am too ‘bleh’ to function at this point, and perhaps for the next hour or so; in the meantime, I’m going to follow the first commandment of the Internet and go look up some cat pictures.


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