I’m A Massive Hypocrite

(although I’m not as cool as Lord Henry Wotton)

I’ve realised that often, this blog degenerates into a list of things that annoy me, perhaps a damaging development as some of my more malicious friends can just flick through old posts, find out what I hate and then ensure that I am exposed to the greatest amount of ‘Bless You’-ing as is humanly possible. However, many of these pet peeves come from myself, in that I do them with no hesitation, but get incredibly annoyed when others do them

The list includes:

– Walking while wearing headphones (as opposed to earphones)
– Walking with your hands in your pockets.Carrying a rucksack over one shoulder.
– Spitting while you are playing sport.
– Not apologising for stepping on someone’s foot on a bus.
– Not taking your earphones out when you cross the road.
– Shouting at a call centre operator, thinking they’re the source of your problem, while they’re just an Indian bloke who can barely speak English reading off a script.

But I don’t think I’m an arsehole because of some abstract sense of superiority, that I can do what I like, whereas you plebs have to not be pricks or you’ll end up anonymously referenced in a strongly-worded blog post, but because I’m unobservant.

Most of these actions are physical ones – so that way I can judge strangers on the street without having to talk to them – and there’s the simple fact that I cannot see my own body as I walk around; therefore, I am not made constantly aware if I’m walking while wearing headphones, because I can’t see those great hemispheres protruding Princess Leia-style from the side of my head, so I’m not annoyed by it.

And this inability to see myself means I can basically enjoy the benefits of these things – keeping hands warm in pockets without gloves, or the feeling of satisfaction that comes from bewildering an outsourced worker over the phone in a London accent – without feeling like an arsehole for doing them.

This feeling must be held by everyone else too; they act in James-annoying ways, not out of spite, but simply because they aren’t negatively affected by these actions, so they just do them. Also, I don’t think this shows humans to be inherently self-centred, as the multitude of opinions towards and reactions to these actions means that you can never be sure who you’re pissing off when you do these things: my list of hypocritical pet peeves up there could be a ‘Seven Things I Love Seeing People Do On The Street’ post on another blog. As a result, it’s probably better to focus on your own mind and your own interests – as that is the only thing an individual can ever be totally sure of – and let others sort their own problems out, either through direct confrontation, or passive-aggressive blog posts that are ultimately ineffective in changing the world and only provide a superficial sense of satisfaction, having ranted for a bit.

And that is my biggest hypocritical pet peeve: not confronting things that annoy or upset you head-on, but skirting around them to say you gave it a go, but were too afraid to actually stand up to things that suck. I guess this entire blog, or at least the vast posts on it that deal with ‘Stuff That Annoys Me’, is totally hypocritical.

What a way to start a Wednesday.

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