(shakes off dust)
I’m blogging again. Huzzah! And a crap-load of things happened while I was away that I feel compelled to tell you about at great length for some reason. Woo-hoo!
I’d stopped writing on this blog on May 16th, 39 days ago, to focus on my A-level exams instead of spending time and energy producing important responses to toilet paper for the benefit of about six people on the Internet. However, these plans were scuppered by my body’s rather inconveniently-timed decision to have a seizure two weeks before my first exam; I woke up, sat at my desk, had a dangerously low blood sugar, and passed out, hitting my jaw on the desk, then falling backwards to hit my back on the floorboards.
I was then promptly carted off to A&E in scenes I only vaguely remember – most of these memories consist of the phrase ‘gas and air’ and me apologising for some reason – had an x-ray to see if anything was broken (it wasn’t) and then sent back home to recover in the sterile, peaceful environment of a home in which two kids have exams to study for, and weird cats show up at random intervals in the kitchen for no apparent reason.
Considering the seizure was caused by my diabetes, and my mismanagement of it, the doctors gave me a new method of treating the condition: running my blood sugars higher than they should be, so that a seizure can never happen again in a million years. Sadly, high blood sugars undermine my ability to concentrate, so on some days I could only work for two hours, and on others I couldn’t work at all; I was either too low, and in need of masses of sugar, or healthily too high, which meant I couldn’t revise for those exams I’ve been working towards for the last twelve frakking years.
But those exams weren’t too bad in the end; my method of revision (i.e. asking myself ‘Are you working now?’, and then writing essays if the answer is anything less than ‘I’m literally sitting the exam as we speak’) had been in force since October, so I had done all the practice essays most human beings are capable of doing, and I had completed all of my notes by Easter. The problem was that I had not steadily built up my workload over several months as I had done in the past, but the fact that I had kinda done all the work anyway meant I knew what to write about in the exams, even if my writing technique was a little rusty.
And my school helped; my awesome Head of Year let me bring food, both sugars and long-term carbs, and insulin into my exams, so I could both raise and lower my blood sugars as need be, and the invigilators were happy to let me eat in the exams, provided they could check my sandwiches weren’t full of notes (scratch that one off the list of Overly Elaborate Medical-Based Cheating Methods). I was slightly annoyed when I was given two minutes of extra time in the English exam because of this – irritating because I didn’t need any extra help, considering my exam management of the diabetes amounted to eating a mini-roll halfway through, and they only told me about it with a minute to go anyway, at which point my essays were done and I couldn’t use that extra time meaningfully – but that’s a minor complaint.
Since then, I’ve been lowering my blood sugars a little, using the same ‘keep it high’ methods as the doctors suggested, but taking slightly more insulin, so my blood sugars are usually in the ‘I feel great!’ range, not the ‘I’m so high I wanna lie down’ band. I’m seeing my nurse today to discuss a more long-term solution involving an insulin pump, which releases insulin into my bloodstream throughout the day like a normal pancreas does, as opposed to the three or four shots of insulin provided by injections. This will mean learning a third management strategy from scratch, but I’ve got literally no plans for summer beyond this, and considering I want to be living at University this October, independence with my diabetes will probably be a good thing.
In other news, I’ve started a new Football Manager save, and am currently securing a mid-table finish for my newly-promoted-to-the-Second-Division Ribeirão side, despite the fact that our wage budget is no more than what we can con off the local homeless shelter, and our transfer policy resembles a village car boot sale for old, crocked, or painfully unambitious Portuguese attacking midfielders and inside forwards. I’ve also formally left school, returning my books, receiving handshakes, and eating an impressively bland buffet lunch that wouldn’t look out of place in that homeless shelter.
I’m sorry this post has been a bit of an update sort of thing, and kinda resembles a month’s worth of posts glued together in one unusually long piece making it look like I never ‘stopped’ writing, I only delayed uploading my posts for a month before vomiting then all up at once like a Pelipper using an particularly effective Stockpile-Spit Up combo, but life has been rather exciting recently. And I’m sure your’s has been too; one thing that annoyed me about this blog before the break was that it was focused on me (the dam thing’s got my name for God’s sake), and any input from you, while appreciated, was not actively encouraged. So please, tell me what I’ve missed in your lives – I’ve not even been on WordPress for these 39 days – and I’ll see you tomorrow for a post of an as-of-yet unknown nature.
P.S. Today is my birthday, and I’ve already got a t-shirt emblazoned with ‘FRAK EARTH’, which is both nerdy, sweary and dismissive, which are three of my favourite things ever; I’m in quite a good mood now.