(feeling like John and Gregg from MasterChef)
A long time ago, on a dining table far, far away…
It is a period of supermarket-based culinary war. Marks & Spencer chocolate cakes, being sold from a hidden base somewhere off the A10 have won their first victory against the evil Morrisons’ Bakery Empire.
During the battle, M&S spies managed to steal secret plans to Morrisons’ secret weapon, the Super Icing, a kind of cake topping made of fudge and liquorice, an almost illegally unhealthy product with enough power to destroy a marathon runner’s year of training with a single portion.
Pursued by Morrisons’ sinister agents, Helena Bonham Carter races home in the back of an M&S home delivery truck, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her company’s poor first quarter performance, and restore freedom to the spending habits of middle-class shopping families in the UK.
But seriously, I’m too tired to write a more coherent and meaningful post, and the majority of the day has consisted of judging which, of the Morrisons and M&S chocolate cakes, was superior; it was the latter.