To Sock Or Not To Sock?

(Shakespeare would be turning in his grave at that title … if he was either capable of reading, or interested in this blog)

I’m open about the fact that I’m no interested in clothing beyond asking ‘is this warm?’ and ‘is this legal?’ for any particular item of clothing, but even I am able to rank my clothes in order of comfort, appearance, durability and so on; the fact that my options are two pairs of trackies, as opposed to two different pieces of clothing, doesn’t make these decisions any less important.

For instance, as I continue my streak of approaching important things in my life with the forethought and planning of a live experimental jazz odyssey with no prior knowledge of or interest in jazz (such as birthdays, results days, etc), I’m spending a lot of time sitting on my arse at home. It’s therefore important to get out of the house and go for a walk every now and then, but because I’m a painful control freak, I need to plan my clothes depending on whether I’m going out that day; therefore, I’ll decide to go for a walk in the afternoon when I get up in the morning and get dressed, which presents a difficult choice: to sock or not to sock?

Essentially, I don’t want to decide on a whim to leave the house, but find myself unsocked, because I’ll have to go find socks to wear under my shoes (because fashion appears to dictate that men can only not wear socks when sandals are involved, which isn’t happening in Britain), doubling the amount of time I spend pulling things onto my feet; I know this won’t take too much additional time – probably about five seconds – but this 100% increase in foot-covering activities is a burden I could really get out of the way when I get up.

You see, there is a slippery slope to these things; if I’m not really interested in going for a walk, but I sort of need to (in the same way that you kinda have to put the toilet seat down when you’re done, and you really should turn the TV off when you;re done watching it, but really it’d be hard for Jesus himself to be so considerate all the time), it’s easy to postpone it for a day, and wait to be socked at the start of the day, than create an extra activity from scratch – putting the socks on.

This does make me wonder, therefore, how much influence over my life my choice of wearing socks has; I’ve decided to walk or stay in based on my sock arrangements multiple times in the last few days, which is rather concerning. For instance I worse socks today, am not going to the park, and now feel disgusted with myself.

But uni in a few weeks, where I’ll have more important things to think about than socks.


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