(now I’m definitely going to Hell)
1) I can’t believe the first woman ruined mankind by eating from the Tree of Knowledge; I guess she didn’t beli-eve God’s warning.
2) I can see why some people are skeptical about the Bible. I mean, Jesus feeding five thousand with some bread? Sounds fishy to me.
3) Who invented capital punishment? Cain!
4) I wonder where Joseph ended up with his fancy coat. I heard it didn’t end well.
5) How did Mary respond when she heard Jesus was going to be executed? She was cross.
6) Why did Pontius miss Jesus’ death? He was pi-late.
7) Hey, why is the Red Sea parting? Because Mo-says it has to.
8) What does Satan do to relax? Have a Beelzebubble bath.
9) What do unenthusiastic Christians take in Church? Water and whine.
10) Did any third sets of animals sneak onto God’s Ark? Not without its builder’s Noah-ing.