(well, at least the bits of it I’ve been awake for)
This is perhaps my fourth go at writing a post today, and unlike days where I write four posts, but only publish one because the other three were not funny, inappropriate or just stupid, I’ve opened the ‘Add New’ tab four times, and sat gawking at a blank screen for fifteen minutes before going to have a nap.
This is especially problematic considering I need to write an essay tonight; it’s not due for a week, but in the next few days I have: lectures, a YouTube Society pub quiz, a magazine meeting, Dodgeball training, Football, a friend’s birthday party, Karate, and a trip away to some lodge in the middle of nowhere for God knows what reason, so it’s likely I’ll have to pull an all-nighter to get through an essay that’s not due for seven bloody days. I’ve banged my head against the (near-literal) wall to the tune of a thousand disjointed words, and that took two and a half hours.
First I questioned my motivation for both blogging and essay-writing, the lack of which is a far scarier prospect than mere writers’ block; I feared that I had lost my interest in both these things, as uni magazines and publications become a way of getting my writing seen by more people than is possible with a single blog that I link to on my Facebook wall every day like a whore, and my focus on societies, NaNoWriMo, my diet and weighing up the costs and benefits of buying more underpants to reduce the need to do laundry means I’m basically getting into every aspect of university life apart from the degree itself.
But this isn’t the case; I still wanted to blog and write that essay, even if it was difficult to do so. Also, I’m about to do a new thing with WordPress (more details when I can be bothered to talk about them), and I’m four weeks into a course I’ve spent three years or so single-mindedly working towards, so I don’t think I’d really be up for throwing in either towel any time soon.
The problem, therefore, is inspiration, a more short-term and superficial problem; simply put, I want to write stuff, but can’t get ideas flowing. It’s annoying that this has happened on my designated essay-writing day, and is a fairly inevitable risk you run while writing more blog posts than there are people without ebola in the world (apparently). There are two solutions to this problem too: go to sleep and try again the next day (the sort of hit-and-miss approach that works when you don’t have exactly zero hours to complete a task), or push on regardless, spout three thousands words consisting largely of garbage, ideas stolen from critics, and misuses of the word ‘sin’, give it in two minutes before the deadline and try to act surprised when you get a crap mark.
Nowadays, I feel compelled to go for the latter, so I’m going to try writing about free will in Paradise Lost now. Yet. Again.