(God, I wish the acronym for that was less ridiculous)
Fans of unnecessary cynicism rejoice, I’m starting an annual project billed as an awards ceremony but is really little more than an ego-stroking fest in which I berate things that are ever-so-slightly imperfect, under the pretence of a competition! Hooray!
I’ve had a category of posts on this blog for almost a year now called ‘Annual Awards’, and there’s one post in it, which rather makes a mockery of the plural ‘Awards‘; so to fix this, I’ve come up with the James Patrick Casey ‘You Are A Bastard’ Awards, for services to quickening the inevitable demise of humanity, with the ‘YAB’ coming from the ‘You Are A Bastard’ bit.
Essentially, this will be me, perhaps in one post, and perhaps over a three-day period of anger, ripping into things that have irked, troubled and jimmy-rustled me over the last twelve months; but there aren’t really categories for these awards, and the only criteria are the inconsistent and contradictory ones I’ll make up, probably on the spot, to determine which act of idiocy reigns number one on my list; basically, I’m picking the winners, and there’ll be no rhyme or reason to it, so don’t call me out on that later – if I want to suggest that a TV advert is more of an inconvenience than something like the threat of Islamic State (ISIS), I’m going to, and if you don’t like it, follow an award ceremony that isn’t named after the prat who’s running it.
However, while the decision of what is the most bastardly act will be down to me, I am but one person who has made the exciting journey from a northern bit of London to a slightly less northern bit of London all year, and so have likely missed out on thousands of instances of people being pricks all year round; I’m asking you, whether you’re a WordPress blogger, a Facebook clicker, or a random internet traveller without any of these fanciful social accounts who just likes a bit of moaning, get in touch with me about anything annoying enough to warrant a spot on the final list. And for the sake of inconvinience, I won’t tell you how long the list will be, or what’s already on it, so you’ll have no context within which to give me suggestions – but take this in a good way, as I’m doing it to encourage you to let me know what’s irking you, big, small or completely irrelevant, so we can all, at the very least, have a moan alongside each other. And isn’t that the true reason for competition? To arbitrarily divide people and things from each other, so we can get pissed off at the final rankings.
So hit me up in comments, or on Facebook, or via email – email@example.com – and carrier pigeon – North London Rookery, 185 Blackmoor Gardens, NW1 9QT – if you’re into those archaic forms of communication, and we can all have a bitch about this at the end of the year!
And if no-one gets back to me, literally all my friends and WordPress followers are going on that frakking list 🙂