Forty-Four Facts About Me

(it’s been ten months since the last one of these!)

1) I have only taken one selfie in my life, and that was as a record of how much of a ‘beard’ I could grow over Summer after not shaving for months. The results were depressing.

2) I’ve seen Rise Against perform live more times than my sister, who plays guitar and acts. Huh.

3) I tend to hate names that contain more than one syllable; notable exceptions include Emma, Erin, Rachel, Douglas, and Leroy.

4) I have opinions about appearances, and clothes and fashion! This may surprise you, but I find myself liking and disliking certain combinations of clothes, patterns and colours; I just don’t let it affect me because clothes serve a dual purpose – both artistic (fashion) and practical (walking around in them) – and for all my English degree-doing artiness, I’m quite pragmatic.

5) I used to sleep in a designated pair of pyjamas – an old t-shirt and trackies – but now I can’t be bothered and sleep in underpants.

6) The window in my room has been open constantly for about five weeks now.

7) I can masturbate with either hand, although not at the same time. Yet.

8) I enjoy pub quizzes, but current evidence suggests I suck at them.

9) I’m uncharacteristically partial to hugs.

10) I’ve got over the whiny gender divide problem I had with Game of Thrones I mentioned in the last one of these I did.

11) I’d wanted to change the background colour of the blog from black to white for about eight months before I actually did.

12) I claim to write for three publications, but really I’ve only got to the point of sending off my first draft to two of them, and I’ve not heard back from either.

13) NaNoWriMo is spectacularly difficult. Not so much a fact about me there but an objective truth about the universe in which we live.

14) Whenever I see a piece of Harry Potter merchandise I feel sad for missing out on the most influential book for people of my age in a generation, then immediately contempt for that person daring to enjoy a piece of mainstream culture; sorry, I can’t help hating stuff that’s popular, even if it’s unintentional.

15) Literally all of my top five quotes come from Rise Against songs. Number six is the Lordi love chorus ‘F*ck you asshole, f*ck you asshole, sincerely with love’.

16) I get annoyed whenever I tell someone about a thing in real life, only for them to say they saw me talk about it in a Facebook status and they didn’t Like it or Comment on it; I don’t know why I’m so desperate for appreciation on social media, and it’s totally okay that people read things without feeling compelled to click their approval of them, but I don’t make sense a lot of the time.

17) I love Dante’s Inferno but refer to the other volumes as ‘Purgatory’ and ‘Paradise’ as opposed to the Italian Purgatorio and Paradiso, because even my pretentiousness knows some bounds.

18) I have a lamp I bought from IKEA in my room, but forgot to buy a bulb, so it’s currently a rather stylish fridge ornament.

19) My fingers hurt and we’re not even halfway through.

20) Episode 63 of YuGiOh The Abridged Series is perhaps the funniest since episode 44. And I’m not just saying that because of the ending to 44.

21) I’m much worse at things that I’d like to be; I’m one-handed, can only speak one language, can’t contribute much by way of lifting things to assemble flat-pack furniture, and am way too reluctant to wear glasses given my awful eyesight. I’ll work on these in the future.

22) I’ve never complimented someone on their appearance, even if I found them attractive or they complimented me on mine first (it happens sometimes, weird as it may be).

23) I actually enjoy cooking! But like other things I enjoy – video games, long walks in parks and playing Warhammer (god it’s been a while!) – I hardly ever have time for it.

24) I’m genuinely not interested in romance right now; I’m not hiding loneliness behind a stoic front here, and I don’t want to objectify any potential partners in saying this, but I honestly don’t think I have the time to commit to a meaningful relationship with another human being – humans are complicated, man!

25) It’s surprisingly easy to use ungendered pronouns all the time once you’ve had some practice.

26) Every time I say a cliche or oft-repeated phrase I want to stab myself in the oesophagus.

27) Seeing early Christmas decorations doesn’t put me in the mood to celebrate, it puts me in the mood to burn things. Particularly Christmas-shaped things.

28) I could juggle! Once.

29) I think three days is a good amount of time to rewear a pair of trousers before washing them.

30) This was a poor choice of post type considering I have about 20 minutes to finish and upload this so it can be published ‘today’.

31) I hate the anonymous drunks who appear to live right outside my window and exist for the sole purpose of making it difficult for me to sleep.

32) I just sold a sixteen year-old four-star prospect on Football Manager for £10,000; normally I keep all the youngsters I can for as long as I can, but ten grand goes a long way in the Conference. He’d never hit that potential anywho.

33) Ten months ago I would have stopped here.

34) I used to have a freckle in the middle of the back of my right hand when I was a kid, and used it to tell my right hand from my left; now that freckle has gone.

35) I have a bag of carrier bags in my room.

36) I have a note on my phone consisting entirely of puns made in songs by the Canadian rapper Classified.

37) I consider 37 to be an ugly number.

38) I never have the keyboard backlight on my laptop on; months of playing various FM games on it have taught me the importance of conserving battery power by any means necessary.

39) This is the number of Jack Roberts, my young regista-type midfielder on my Chester save on FM 2015.

40) Three of the last eight facts have involved FM in some way; guess what I’ve been putting a lot of hours into?!

41) The range of the facts in these posts makes them impossible to tag accurately and consistently; I’ll normally get through 20 or so facts then give up.

42) I suck at starting conversations, both in my reluctance to get them going and then in actually picking something to say, but am totally comfortable literally two responses in.

43) This number is not alliterative.

44) My bed-clothes are a neutral sky blue; I know that I sleep around them, and I’m in darkness at the time, so colour shouldn’t really be an issue, but I’d be far more comfortable with black ones.

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13 thoughts on “Forty-Four Facts About Me

    1. Well it is an ugly number isn’t it? Like its parents are 3 and 7, which are solid, strong numbers; then 37 shows up with its bumps on the 3 and its straight lines of the 7 and its like what are you doing with your life?

      And the bag of bags was a bit of a shortcut tbh – I’m sure most people have those somewhere! I’ve done 110 of these facts now and it’s getting hard to come up with them :’)

      1. LOLOLOL XD

        And yeah..I’m sure everyone has those bagerific bags of baggydom stored somewhere.
        I like these fact lists! 😀

        1. I thought so too, but then I realised how hard it is to write anything coherent in verse and realised I’d appreciate the effort if nothing else. Like anything more complex than an ABAB structure is hard as balls.

  1. “I used to have a freckle in the middle of the back of my right hand when I was a kid, and used it to tell my right hand from my left; now that freckle has gone.” Now you’ll never know which is the left hand and which is the right.
    This list was pretty funny! And I agree, humans are complicated!

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