(that is in no way an obnoxious title, right?)

I’ve probably already talked about this, and apologies if this post is therefore redundant, but I feel the need to remind the Internet that this is a post, so stop getting it wrong; whether you’re a mate who’s just started blogging, a fellow blogger I now consider a friend, a company trying to get down with ‘the kids’ or any other frakking organisation, individual, or Nigerian Prince who won’t follow me back; it’s likely you’ve made this mistake, a mistake I will now correct you upon in unnecessarily aggressive terms.

First of all, you’re an idiot.

Next, we can explore why; this site, is a blog, a collection of ideas, stories and pieces of prose that I think is like the most culturally significant grouping of letters and words since that list of quibbles Martin Luther nailed to a door that one time. This collection consists of posts that have an individual theme, topic, or agenda, and are each introduced by a title and bracketed subtitle in bold face. If you want an analogy, the blog is the newspaper, and the posts are the articles that make up the newspaper.

If you are a journalist tasked with producing content for The Times newspaper, you don’t declare ‘I’m going to write a newspaper!’ because you’ll sound like a twat; what you will say is ‘I’m going to write an article’, because this is correct. Equally, bloggers, organisational PR managers and anyone else on the Internet, you’re not going to ‘write a blog’, you are going to ‘have a blog’, a kind of online intellectual ownership that is achieved through the writing of posts.

Also, it’s worth bearing in mind that the words ‘post’ and ‘article’ are more-or-less interchangeable online; WordPress itself uses ‘posts’ to refer to pieces of writing that constitute a blog on its own site, but the fancier-sounding ‘articles’ on its Facebook plugin. But what are not interchangeable are the qualitatively different words ‘blog’ and ‘post’.

So please, enthuse about that new online writing project you’re about to start or have recently started; it’s very likely I’ll be genuinely interested, supportive to the point of being an obsessive, unwanted fanboy, and will link your site on every site I have control over. But if you say ‘I’m writing a blog’, or ‘I’m making a blog’ in reference to an individual post; I will bludgeon you to death using nothing more than the intense rage boiling in my brain that will be actualised into a blunt weapon of some destructive potential through the medium of teenage angst.


2 thoughts on “THIS IS A POST, YOU MORONS

    1. (in a condescending voice) As long as you’ve learned your lesson…

      This wasn’t meant to be a passive-aggressive dig at you personally, behind the defence of using a post to not talk to people directly, btw – if ever this blog becomes a place for cowardly, passive-aggressive rants, let me know and I’ll stop being such a bitch.

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