(no way do I already regret attempting to write this post)
1) I prefer narrow-ruled to wide-ruled paper.
2) My phone gets WordPress notifications approximately six seconds faster than my computer, when they’re both connected to the same Wi-Fi network.
3) I’m considering dyeing my hair orange, because I’m so interesting on the inside that I look for value and an identity purely on the outside.
4) I suck at sit-ups because sitting on the floor hurts my coccyx, not because my abs are made of jelly. But I’m sure that has something to do with it.
5) I’ve eaten nothing but toast and cereal for about two weeks now.
6) I lie in these fact posts often; I had a box of chips just this weekend, actually.
7) I pretend that my audience is a loyal individual, who reads all of my posts and agrees with everything I have to say unconditionally; this is of course a fantasy, but it helps motivate me to continue writing.
8) I do care about views, and consider a week without at least 300 views to be a bit of a failure.
9) I’ve never owned a USB stick for more than eight months without losing it.
10) I spent thirty quid on a single item of clothing the other day, because I’m slowly becoming everything fourteen-year-old James despised.
11) I have only ever bought, of my own volition, a single item of clothing for a specific event. And it was a pair of trackies.
12) I have a pile of failed insulin pumps on my desk that I can’t be bothered to send back to the manufacturer to get replacements, because bureaucracy scares me, and bureaucracy surrounding my health is frankly terrifying.
13) I’ve dismissed alcohol without ever really trying it, and recreational drugs without ever trying them; this is why I’m a prat.
14) I like to think that I’d be a better rapper than singer. No particular reason.
15) I often wish I was born in 1962 so I could be 18 when Minor Threat were bursting onto the music scene. And I’d have seen England win the bloody World Cup.
16) The Magic Key has had a greater influence on my personal development than anything written by Marx, Freud and Darwin put together; take that, the stupid idea of a literary cannon!
17) I have owned three pairs of shoes in the last five years.
18) I struggle to think of appropriate names for any future children I may choose to have beyond ‘James’ and ‘Rachel’. God, I hope I don’t marry someone who wants a large family.
19) I kinda want to see the Fifty Shades Of Grey film. Only ‘kinda’.
20) I like to think I’m much more knowledgable about video games than I am.
21) I think everyone always finds my t-shirts hilarious; they’re probably more annoyed by the Crossbuster on my Bad Religion shirt.
22) I got into Eminem through Weird Al’s parody of Lose Yourself, Couch Potato.
23) I got into Rise Against through the Guitar Hero iPhone game.
24) I got into Classified through Madden NFL 12 on the PS3.
25) I don’t check to see if any of these facts have been mentioned in previous fact posts.
26) I’m simultaneously afraid of being alone, but also of imposing myself onto other people; sometimes this leads to an amusing combination of sitting alone in my room, completely comfortably, while having panic attacks because I’m sitting alone in my room, completely comfortably.
27) I consider Ratchet: Gladiator to be the funniest video game I’ve ever seen; Battleblock Theatre is a close second.
28) The Pain arc is the best story arc in the Naruto anime, closely followed by the Five Kage Summit arc, then the Sasuke Retrieval arc from Part I; by the way, I’m still in the first night of the world war, so I can’t compare these arcs to the rest of the series.
29) The only piercings I’d ever consider getting are Pain’ earrings, in my left ear only because I like asymmetry.
30) I have recently decided that I no longer believe in the concept of gender.
31) I am very upset that Sean Bean’s first name and surname do not rhyme.
32) I have a pair of underpants with a rather awkward tear in the front; it can feel weird, but no-one notices because I wear things over my underwear in public. Mua-ha-ha.
33) I dislike how the UCL women’s dodgeball team have cool purple shirts, while the men have boring light blue ones; although the women’s shirts are trimmed in that dull light blue, so it’s not perfect for them either.
34) This is one of my least-favourite numbers, speaking purely aesthetically.
35) I own a pillowcase without a pillow because I failed to buy the latter from IKEA; turns out I picked up the barcode-free, display pillow when I was making my way to the checkout.
36) How much, I believe, a woodchuck can chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood.
37) I have a collection of pound coins stashed safely away in the depths of a drawer, because the washing machines in my hall only take pound coins, so I need to scavenge for them like a peasant, and hoard them like a dragon.
38) Sometimes I wish I was Beowulf; other times, I wish I was the dragon.
39) I don’t know the difference between saying ‘I was’ and ‘I were’, and didn’t know the difference between ‘its’ and ‘it’s’ until a few weeks before I got to uni. Me fail English? That’s unpossible.
40) I can make a poster on Microsoft Word. It’s not easy, or recommended, but it’s totally possible.
41) It takes 42 pointless facts being typed out into a blog post for my fingers to start hurting.
42) My fingers currently hurt.
43) The only textual abbreviation I use I ‘idk’.
44) I have legitimately used my copy of the tome-like work, Eldest, as a doorstop. Sorry, Christopher Paolini.
45) I’m not anywhere near as good at playing Football Manager for someone who’s put 1,358 hours into those games in the last four years alone.
46) I quite liked the original endings of Mass Effect 3. Then I read online responses to them and became angry at Bioware.
47) I own more mugs than glasses.
48) I also own more mugs than pairs of socks.
49) I only have a single mug I use regularly.
50) If I could meet one famous person and hang out with them for the day, it’d be Martin Billany.
51) Sometimes I hum the intro to Rise Against’s Ready To Fall over and over to myself.
52) I lack the motivation to learn how to edit to start making YouTube videos; otherwise this’d be a pretentious vlog, not a pretentious blog.
53) I have a spider-plant. Its name is Henry.
54) I’ve started reading for fun again – I’m currently powering through Slaughterhouse 5.
55) I hate writing these fact posts.