I’m Addicted To The Internet

(like this was a surprise)

I like to think that I have a relatively wide array of hobbies and interests: I like writing, and playing games, and juggling three sports at once, and seeing my friends, and eating nothing but Doritos for up to three consecutive days. But I realised yesterday that I’ve been living a lie, and for all my attempts to kick addictions and dependencies this year – addictions to caffeine, meat, and produce in the coming weeks – the Internet is basically my heroin.

I decided to buy The Witcher 2: The Assassinations of Kings from Steam yesterday, because I heard the hullabaloo surrounding its upcoming sequel, Wild Hunt and decided to jump into the series when an extended edition was available for just fifteen quid. But because the Internet at UCL moves as quickly as an asthmatic ant with some heavy shopping, it said it would take eight hours to download the 16GB game (in reality it took closer to fourteen but whatever). In that time, I couldn’t use the Internet for anything, as that would exaggerate this download time even further, and I was quickly deprived of anything to do.

Playing other games on Steam was out of the question, as they require an Internet connection and so would sap all the bandwidth that should have been spent on downloading The Witcher; Facebook would barely load, I couldn’t write a blog post because WordPress was a total no-go, and I couldn’t even marathon Stephen and Mallory Georg’s excellent Mario Kart versus Let’s Play for the third time. I don’t want to use my recent exams as an excuse for not writing that novel I’ve been planning for six months either; sure, my brain was fried, but the fact is that when it came down to finding a way to relax without the Internet, I was devoid of ideas. I ended up going on two walks that day instead of one, and had about three naps.

In the end, I settled on playing Fire Emblem, which I didn’t need an Internet connection for because I’d already downloaded TOTALLY LEGALLY it in its entirety and was playing it TOTALLY LEGALLY on my computer on what was TOTALLY NOT AN EMULATOR.

Maybe I’ll try giving up the Internet this summer; apart from this blog, of course.

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