(I got nominated for two things. YEAH)
I’m obviously a better, more popular blogger than you. I mean, I got two nominations for awards from the same person, so I’m basically the god of WordPress-based social interactions. Fortunately for you mortal peasants, I have decided to descend from my empyrean and grace you with my presence in the form of responding to these nominations; I’ll be passing around a collection plate, by the way, and would appreciate PS4 games and money in equal measure. Thus, with two very hearty thanks to Jai Vyas Writes, let’s get to it.
Questions for me
1) Favourite book or book series, and who would direct the film adaptation? The Bible; it’s almost literally all sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll. But I don’t watch films, so I don’t know any directors. Sorry about that.
2) What does inspiration mean to you? Anything that makes me forget who I am and what I’m doing counts as inspiration. If I’m going to create worlds as I write, the first task is to remove the readers from their current world; things that can’t even do that to the writer in the first place aren’t really that inspiring.
3) How has blogging changed your life? It’s made me a writer. Not someone with things to say, necessarily, but someone who puts words together to create meaning. Ironically, I struggle to express the profoundness of this impact on me with words.
4) What is one thing that the world shouldn’t have, and what would replace it? If you’re giving me the power, I’d replace the notion that positions of power in society are more dependent on image and stereotype than individual characteristics. Of course, this would mean much more rigorous application processes would be needed for every university and profession, so I’d stick ten million new interviewers into the world.
5) How do you deal with writers’ block? I write. If I have writers’ block, it means I’m choosing to do things other than writing because I’ve got a half-baked idea in my head that writing is too hard that day. The more I write, the more comfortable I am writing.
Questions for nominees
1) Green eggs or ham?
2) Aside from writing, what is your favourite artistic pastime?
3) Who doesn’t inspire you?
4) Would it be feasible to live in a mud hut outside Euston station instead of risk my life savings trying to get a flat for September?
5) Top hats or monocles?
6) Is a dead tree in an urban area beautiful or tragic?
7) Why is Bloodborne so hard?
8) Would you ever consider wearing swimming goggles as a fashion item?
9) At what point does celebrating success become a stagnant attempt to relive the past?
10) Would you rather live life or observe it lived by others?
Questions for me
1) Favourite sweet dish? Vegans aren’t allowed to eat sweet things, along with animals, produce or anything that casts a shadow, so nothing for me.
2) One place to go before you die? The bedroom of someone to whom I am sexually attracted. Failing that, I wanna see Lordi play in Finland, which would probably be a better experience.
3) Favourite genre of music? Punk.
4) What would you expect your future self to be like? How far into the future? I probably won’t live to see 29, so if it’s ten years away I’ll be a rotting corpse in a cheap suit buried in a nondescript hill in north-west London, in scenes that would be poetic if they weren’t so dank and boring. But if we’re only looking nine years ahead, I’ll probably be living at home, trying to piece together an income from freelance writing work for online-only magazines, while the piles of literature from my student days that I once loved grow weary, dusty and forlorn in the corner.
5) What is your favourite motivational quote? It’s also my favourite quote – ‘How we survive is what makes us who we are‘
6) Sports you follow and teams you support? Football, Tottenham Hotspur; American Football, the New England Patriots; and Cycling, Alberto Contador and Geraint Thomas.
7) What else would you call your blog? ‘Aren’t black backgrounds f*cking amazing?!’
8) Are you a morning person? As someone who gets very little sleep, and alternates between rigid waking hours and a random soup of consciousness at five in the morning followed by breakfast at seven in the evening, I find your question ignorant and offensive.
9) What’s the one thing you’d want to change about yourself? If there’s anything I’d seriously like to change, I’ll change it. But I wish my fingernails and toenails weren’t so tough; they’re almost impossible to cut.
10) What would you do for the rest of your life if money was no issue? Work for Shelter.
– The same people as before because I have no friends.
Questions for nominees
– The same questions as before because I have no ideas.
Thanks again to Jai for the nomination, and I apologise I didn’t format this is a more coherent manner; I’d fix it but I want to nap and have tea at the same time, and deciding on one over the other requires a great deal of mental energy.