I Am A Dromedary

(camels are too mainstream)


(pictured: my uncle Kevin)

I am a dromedary. I go for days, weeks even, without sustenance, crossing the oft-fatal desert of living alone for the first time. It’s not that there isn’t food and water available – there are many watering holes, oases even on my path – but I rarely find them, too often distracted by the rabbit hole of some footprints in front of me, some sky writing that might actually be a clickbait title, and a copy of Jim Lindberg’s Punk Rock Dad dangled on a string just ahead of me.

But every now and then, I am forced to stop. Sporadically, a TV pokes its antennae out of the sand, and The Great British Bake-Off is playing, Mel and Sue bouncing around their unusually sandless enclosure like baby dromedaries. And when I stop, other dromedaries give me food, until my hump is bloated, I struggle to walk, but at least I’ll survive until next week.

When I’ll do it all again.

This is, indeed, my way of communicating that I’m overstuffed with my parents’ food, found an amusing picture of a dromedary online, and am probably high to the point of incoherency all at once.

Photo credit – http://www.todayifoundout.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/camel.png


11 thoughts on “I Am A Dromedary

  1. How… How do you make something about a camel sound so poetic and meaningful? I like camels. One time, when I was little, a camel slobbered all over me and it was mildly traumatic as I was approximately the size of a toaster and I nearly drowned. But, nonetheless, I like camels.


      And I don’t know what’s more surreally amusing – you being drooled on by a camel, or you being the size of a toaster. Either way, why was Toaster-Sam meeting camels at such a tender age?

          1. What, so now you’re saying I’m ugly?!
            Okay, I didn’t say I was a toaster! I was simply the size of one. And that may or may not be an exaggeration. The world will never know….

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