There was a loser on the bus, and it was me

(sounds like a sony lyric from shit band)

I have this little category called ‘local celebrities’ on this site, where I hyperbolise and romanticise the odd behaviour of strangers I see for comedic effect. But this evening the tables were turned, as I started behaving like a oddball, to the extent that I seriously thought of writing about myself in that style.

I was eating raw mushrooms out of a glass mixing bowl on the bus, and felt great about it.

There is a story behind this – a rather boring one, as the preludes to interesting things often are – but I don’t really think it’s relevant. While I don’t seriously consider myself superior to the strangers I mock gently, my ‘local celebrity’ posts have often had a bit of sneering high-horsery about them, as I poke fun at people for doing things the way they want to. Perhaps it’s the public setting, which provides filters and censors to the odd behaviour of most people, and the breaking-down of these veneered taboos is in some way inherently comedic, or at least interesting; but perhaps I’m just a prick.

Either way, I’d like to conclude that I’ll be less mean to other people, for violating both my arbitrary definition of ‘correct’ behaviour, and society’s equally arbitrary definition of ‘proper’ behaviour; but I doubt I will. I’m nothing if not a self-aware arsehole.

And that’s pissed off people in the past – that I’m aware of my more communal flaws but will do nothing to fix them – but I’m very comfortable being a self-aware arsehole. Until I start to upset or drive away the people closest to me, I’ll probably never change that.

Guess I’m a loser whether I’m on a bus or not.

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